I’m getting used to talking myself down. This is the pattern my life is following during these tumultuous times. I’m an optimist by nature and usually maintain a positive outlook on life, the people in it, and the circumstances I face. However, lately, even if I start the day bright and cheery, all I have to do is pick up my phone, read the headlines, and my cheerful optimism takes a nosedive.
I experience more emotional swings than a kindergartner on a rainy day, and like that kindergartner, I want out. I want all the chaos to end, and I want to go outside and play. Well, not exactly play, but I want to remember what it was like to hear the news without thinking Armageddon. I want to chat with family, friends, and neighbors without concern that I may accidentally venture into Thou Shalt Not Mention areas. Can one be happy in this environment?
Yes, I believe one can. But it takes some self-awareness and action. Self-awareness means that I must become aware when slipping from my calm self into my chaotic self. When I catch myself feeling anger, fear, or anxiety, I pause, breathe, and identify where in my body I feel the emotion. This conscious awareness and breath calm me down. The negative emotions dissipate when I sense where they reside in my body and breathe into them. This gives me enough awareness and attention to be more objective, and I feel better afterward.
This addresses my emotional reactions; however, the situation that caused them remains. But I am not powerless. I can become active. I can do something. I have discovered that doing something, unlike nothing, makes me feel better. So, I make calls, go to rallies, write postcards, talk to like-minded people, and occasionally put on some Motown and dance in my living room. And you know what it feels like?
Recess.
That beautiful space between happy and a #@% wreck.