This is the time of year when I look back at the past and think about what I can do better in the future. And because I’m a communication coach, I always reflect on how I communicate with others. Was I authentic? Was I clear? What can I do better next year? And there is always something I need to improve on.
For 2024, it will be two things: slowing down and listening. They go hand in hand because one must slow down to listen properly to others. And for me, this is a challenging task. I process quickly and sometimes get impatient when others need help to keep up. But communicating authentically means knowing my audience; if my audience processes slowly, then I must slow down and adjust.
And so, I’ve taken to breathing more. It helps. It helps me relax and be in the moment and opens a beautiful space for my conversation partner to catch up. Not only that, it also helps me connect to whomever I am speaking with. It is such a simple but critical thing, intentional breathing. It is breathing in service of connection, so I take a breath and take in my conversation partner, allowing them to be who they are in that moment regardless of whether I agree with them. This often shifts the conversation into a more generous place, allowing us to discuss all manner of things without getting reactive.
I have tried this, and it works. However, one must be willing to be changed by one’s conversation partner. If you have made a real connection, you will be changed. I’m not talking about agreement; you may never agree with each other, but you may reach a deeper level of understanding. And this, of course, is your choice. But it is always worth it when it moves toward understanding, empathy, and perhaps even compassion.